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Since 1974, ENEMY has been the industry leader in top-secret handshakes.

All company hirings and firings are conducted via LBL-9000 video teleconference.

ENEMY works 24 hours in an underground bunker transcribing wiretapped phone calls, so you don’t have to.

If you cross THE ENEMY, we will push you off the Hoover Dam’s guard rail, sending you into a plummeting, 726 ft. fall that will lead to your watery grave.